"More often than not, I let my emotions take over me." I am just someone who cannot try to hide emotions. When I'm angry, i show my attitude. When I'm happy, I laugh and behave like there's no tomorrow for me to be happy. When I'm sad, I cry like no one's business. It just comes off naturally. I behave like how I feel. Thats how it takes over me. Yes it may be good for when I'm happy and sad. But now, I see something that isn't much right at the correct place. My ANGER. It comes down much to my anger management isn't it ? I learn today that letting my emotions take over me will definitely cost me alot. But the thing is, how am I going to suppress it? I just let it happen, cos its so natural like no one can stop it from coming out, seriously. Am I gonna sit around and wait until it takes something away from me before I can respond? How can I make myself stop reacting to what is happing around me? How should I respond? What can I do to respond.
Next. Can one really erase whats already happened in his/her life (?) NO. If it's there, it's there for good. For what has happen cannot be erase, it can only be forgotten. Things that are forgotten will always be remembered. There are so many things that can remind you of other things. Are we going to hence avoid those things? Logically, we cant and we shouldn't. But mentally, it does affect us, no? Can that be controlled ?
What-so-ever. Am I living in her shadows? Am I just replacing someone else's place? Do I remind him of her? Just how many things remind him about her? Just what are the things that remind him about her? DOES SHE MATTER? idk too.
Last. Is this gonna be just yet another relationship that doesn't bare any fruits and flowers. That will just like any other relationship that comes to an end and no new chapters ever begin. All because of my foolish behavior (...)
People tend to tell me not to think so much .. Tell me, who doesn't think when they have nothing to do. What can I do when I realized that I'm thinking too much?
I just can't convey my messages, my thoughts and my arguments well. Hence, I would use short words to end my messages just like this one here, I GIVE UP! D:
"More often than not, I let my emotions take over me." I am just someone who cannot try to hide emotions. When I'm angry, i show my attitude. When I'm happy, I laugh and behave like there's no tomorrow for me to be happy. When I'm sad, I cry like no one's business. It just comes off naturally. I behave like how I feel. Thats how it takes over me. Yes it may be good for when I'm happy and sad. But now, I see something that isn't much right at the correct place. My ANGER. It comes down much to my anger management isn't it ? I learn today that letting my emotions take over me will definitely cost me alot. But the thing is, how am I going to suppress it? I just let it happen, cos its so natural like no one can stop it from coming out, seriously. Am I gonna sit around and wait until it takes something away from me before I can respond? How can I make myself stop reacting to what is happing around me? How should I respond? What can I do to respond.
Next. Can one really erase whats already happened in his/her life (?) NO. It there, its there for good for what has happen cannot be erase, it can only be forgotten. Things that are forgotten will always be remembered. There are so many things that can remind you of other things. Are we going to hence avoid those things? Logically, we cant and we shouldn't. But mentally, it does affect us, no? Can that be controlled ?
What-so-ever. Am I living in her shadows? Am I just replacing someone else's place? Do I remind him of her? Just how many things remind him about her? Just what are the things that remind him about her? DOES SHE MATTER? idk too.
Last. Is this gonna be just yet another relationship that doesn't bare any fruits and flowers. That will just like any other relationship that comes to an end and no new chapters ever begin. All because of my foolish behavior (...)
People tend to tell me not to think so much .. Tell me, who doesn't think when they have nothing to do. What can I do when I realized that I'm thinking too much?
I just can't convey my messages, my thoughts and my arguments well. Hence, I would use short words to end my messages just like this one here, I GIVE UP! D:
It really feels like everything is going in but none of them are going out .. Like how a balloon is filled with air and yes, until it burst .. I'm just pushing my luck hoping that it doesn't burst or hoping that there'll be a hole in the balloon where the air can escape.. It is so heavy, its like a fcuking big paper weight placed on my chest. I feel so tired trying to find a way out of this but the more i struggle, the more i find it difficult to get out. I'm tired ..
Shall learn the art of ignoring. In short, I should learn not to care/bother so much. The more i bother, the more its gonna happen. But its easier said then done. How can you not care when it is the most important thing to you?? Where it concerns the two most important thing in your life. Maybe not to others, but dearly to me
Sigh. How can I express this out clearly, I really have no idea ..
Music playing on Fujitsu, fan spinning at high speed above my head, sound of machine used to trim grass patches and the howling of wind. Other then these noises are the little noise I hear in my heart. Afraid, Fear, Embarrassed, Misunderstood, Worries .. They're all talking in my heart. Its Christmas Eve today .. There's another 7days to the end of 2009. Another year passed. What have I learnt in this one year? Many things?
Think again (...)
When feelings come and go.
Will you even still believe in your own feelings.
Oh baby
tell me why’d you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today
I’m officially missing you
Thoughts been running reall wild in my brain. Thoughts of how I should step out of my comfort zone and how I should try accept love again. I must be prepared to be hurt again. I must. I mustn't let myself fall hard this time but I felt it won't be fair for him cos I'm afraid that because I'm afraid, I dare not put in the fullest heart into something called a relationship. I enjoy his company and the others too. I wouldn't want to lose this great company just to the word LOVE ..
Time really do flies when you're enjoying. In a blink of eye, you've come to another phase of a new semester. Understanding Test 1 are just round the corner next week and I've yet to revise. First to kick off would be Cognitive. Just at this point of time, my lappy fell sick and I sent it to Funan to get it serviced. Hopefully I'll be able to get it back soon.
Alright. guess I shall head off to bed. Getting more and more sleepy now .. Toodles Anna(:
